Friday, March 09, 2007

I have not been able to leave a lot of message here as I always do but when I do I make it a point it's a message that would really be something that I want to tell you myself... Here is such a powerful song that have been airing lately from Beyonce.

It's a song that would empower every woman remidning us that no one is irreplaceable. there should not be someone telling you that they are the only person who can love you the way they do. True enough, love comes in every form and shape. His love for you may not be the same face of my love for you. I guess all I'm saying is do not let anyone say that they are so good for you. You are you with or without these people who come by for a relationship and leaves for another.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

My Personal Sanctuary

I have been contemplating... thinking how things have been. There have been series of unfortunate events that may have caused things turn out the way they are actually now but at the end of the day I realize that things are really how you see them.

Pain is really how you take it, it's always your choice how to take things beit positively or negatively. I have had a couple of things going on in my life lately but I say I have never been this complete. Never felt so good inspite all the things that come my way that seem to stop me, they can't...they may slow down but I'll never stop.

I feel so lucky to have the girl who to me is not just a girlfriend but a friend, a sister, a mentor and on top of it all someone who isn't superficial but someone real. We fight and disagree in a lot of things (most of it that is) but she never makes me feel sorry for anything at all. Her face just tells me that there's always something. Something to smile at, something to work your way out to make a sanctuary no matter how small it is. She to me is my sanctuary.


Here's an article I got online for a friend...
Let's just hind the person by the name of PARIS...
If there's anythign I can do to ease it out and help...I'm just a text away.I may not be your sosy friend but I'll still be your critique pal..
For people with binge eating disorder, at first food may provide sustenance or comfort, but later it's the focus of incredible guilt and distress. They eat unusually large amounts of food quickly and feel completely out of control as they do it, and they binge not just from time to time, but fairly regularly. These behaviors become a pattern of eating and can alternate with dieting.
Binge eating disorder is more common in people who are obese, but it affects people with healthy weights as well. However, there's little information on how many children and teens are affected by the disorder because the condition has only recently been recognized, and many people may be too embarrassed to seek help for it. Adults in treatment often say their problems started in childhood or adolescence. Still, it's believed that 2% of adult Americans - roughly 1 million to 2 million people - have the disorder.
And although the majority of people with other eating disorders are female, it's estimated that more than a third of individuals with binge eating disorder are male.
What Are the Signs and Symptoms?
Children and teens who sometimes eat a lot don't necessarily have binge eating disorder. Kids can have huge appetites, especially during growth spurts, when they need more nutrients to fuel their growing bodies. So it can be difficult to determine whether a child has binge eating disorder. But several signs distinguish someone who binge eats from someone with a "healthy appetite."
Parents may first suspect a problem when they discover large amounts of food are missing from the pantry or the refrigerator, though it's hard to imagine one child could have eaten so much.
Other signs of a problem include:
a child eating a lot of food quickly
a pattern of eating in response to emotional stress, such as family conflict, peer rejection, or poor academic performance
a child feeling ashamed or disgusted by the amount he or she eats
finding food containers hidden in a child's room
an increasingly irregular eating pattern, such as skipping meals, eating lots of junk food, and eating at unusual times (like late at night)
People who binge eat may also experience feelings that are common to many eating disorders, such as depression, anxiety, guilt, or shame. They may avoid school, work, or socializing with friends because they're ashamed of their binge eating problem.
What Causes It?
The cause of binge eating disorder is unknown, although the National Institutes of Health report that up to half of all people who have it also have a history of depression. It remains unclear, however, whether binge eating brings on depression or whether people with depression are prone to the disorder. Many people who binge eat say that episodes can be triggered by feelings of anger, sadness, boredom, or anxiety. Scientists are also examining how brain function and body metabolism (the way the body uses energy) may affect binge eating.
How Is It Different From Other Eating Disorders?
It's important to distinguish binge eating disorder from other eating disorders, such as bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa.
People with bulimia nervosa (sometimes called binge-purge syndrome) binge on food and then vomit or use laxatives to avoid gaining weight. They may also fast (stop eating for a while) or compulsively exercise after an eating binge. Like people who suffer from binge eating disorder, those with bulimia nervosa repeatedly eat excessive amounts of food and feel guilty or ashamed about it. Unlike bulimia, however, individuals with binge eating disorder do not purge and are, therefore, frequently overweight.
Anorexia nervosa, another eating disorder, also involves feelings of guilt about eating. Whereas people with binge eating disorder consistently overeat, people with anorexia starve themselves, causing potentially life-threatening damage to their bodies. They may also compulsively exercise to achieve weight loss, a condition known as anorexia athletica.
How Is It Diagnosed?
Doctors and mental health professionals use the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (DSM-IV) when they identify binge eating disorder. These include:
binge eating more food than most people could consume in short periods of time
feelings of distress about eating behaviors
binge eating that occurs, on average, at least 2 days a week for 6 months
binge eating that isn't associated with regular purging with laxatives or by vomiting
binge episodes associated with:
eating more rapidly than usual
eating until uncomfortably full
eating when not hungry
eating alone because of embarrassment about how much food is consumed
feelings of disgust, depression, or guilt
Also, a binge has to be accompanied by a loss of control over eating.
How Is It Treated?
A child will be diagnosed with a binge eating disorder only after his or her doctor discusses family dynamics, patterns of eating, and emotional issues with him or her. The doctor will also perform a complete physical and may order lab tests to assess some complications of obesity and nutritional adequacy. As with any eating disorder, it's also important that the child receives therapy.
Different types of therapy can help treat binge eating disorder. For example, family therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy teach people techniques to monitor and change their eating habits and the way they respond to stress. Family therapy includes the whole family in the process of helping the individual. Cognitive-behavioral therapy combines the approach of helping the individual change their self-defeating thoughts with changing their behavior. Counseling also helps patients look at relationships they have with others and helps them work on areas that cause them anxiety. In some cases, doctors may prescribe antidepressant medication to be used in conjunction with therapy.
However, there's no quick fix for any eating disorder. Treatment can take several months or longer while the child learns how to have a healthier approach to food. Although weight-control programs are helpful for some people affected by binge eating disorder, children and teens should not begin a diet or weight-control program without the advice and supervision of a doctor.
What Are the Risks and Complications?
Because many people with binge eating disorder are overweight, the most common health risks are the same ones that accompany obesity, including:
high blood pressure
high cholesterol levels
gallbladder disease
heart disease
some kinds of cancer
depression and anxiety
How Can I Help My Child?
If you suspect your child has a problem with binge eating, call his or her doctor or health care provider for advice and referrals to qualified mental health professionals in your area who have experience treating eating disorders in children.
Be sure to talk to your child, too, and let him or her know you're there to help or just to listen if he or she needs to talk. Having an eating disorder can be difficult to admit, and your child may not be ready to acknowledge that he or she has a problem. You can also show your child how to develop healthier eating habits by modeling a positive relationship with food and exercise and by not using food as a reward.
With the help of your family and a doctor, your child can begin the trip back to eating healthy again.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

It has been some time that I haven't been able to post in this blog...been busy and some things came up that I can't go online as much as I want to...(C-07)..

Just a though I wanna share...

Love vs sex - is love without sex possible or is love a permanent part of sex ? Learn to fully understand the relationship or meaning of love vs sex to avoid emotional and spiritual stress and broken relationships

Love vs sex - is love without sex possible or is love a permanent part of sex ? Learn to fully understand the relationship or meaning of love vs sex to avoid emotional and spiritual stress and broken relationshipsbrMany say or wish to love without sexothers say sex is unimportant only love matterswhat is the relationship between love and sex ?here a few examples to help you understand the meaning of love vs the meaning of sex:love is like foodsex is like EATING foodanother example of love vs sex:love is like the oceansex is like swimming or playing IN the oceanlet's look at first a.m. example to fully understand the relationship between love and sex in a loving relationship:Love is the idea people have- love is the POTENTIAL to make happy or to be made happylike a menu in a restaurant offers you the potential to eat and thus to satisfy your physical needs for vitamins, minerals and delicious energy resources for your daily work or activities.

love is the food for the soulsex is the act of absorbing food !!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Learning Experience

Everyone makes mistakes... But what if your first mistake left you with no opportunity to prove that you learned something?
This, could probably be one of the saddest reality one may have to face. We say that mistakes are part of life. It's ok to fall every once in a while. What matters most is not how many times you failed on different occassions but what matters most is how you carry yourself after every fall. We have to make it to ourself that we don't just get up but rather we get up with the realization and the lesson in our mind to make sure that next time we'd be on that roll again we'd know what road to take to ensure success.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Incident Report

April 5, 2006 (Wednesday) around 5:30pm along the busy streets near the ANgeles Public Market after buying some coconut for my baby we got caught up with a surprise - CHECK POINT!

My heart kept punding when I saw the policeman in uniform waving his hand telling us to park on the side. I had no choice but to comply, I had to pull over. Before doing so, I asked my baby if she had her Driver's license with her. Fortunately, she does. So, feeling a little confident I went down the scooter and asked the policeman politely what is the problem he said it's just their routinary check point. He immediately asked for my license and for the papers of the scooter. None of these documents I carry at that time.

Yes, indeed I don't have a driver's license. My student license have already expired back March 2006. I had to ask my baby to show hers instead. The policeman looked at it read back her name...and again asked for the papers. I said, "I don't ahve it here if you want I can go home and bring it back here." The policeman said, "if that's the case I have to pound your scooter."

Then the story begins, baby had to do her drastic move. She took off her jacket and said as sweet as she could, "Iiwan mo ko dito? O, sige." I guess this made the policeman think twice then he whispered, "Sige, alis na kayo bilis - mukha naman kayong decente."

For one, we got through it without spending a single cent. And what's far more better is, the charm of my baby worked. How and why? I really don't know all I know it WORKED.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Ups and Downs

Just woke up from a very wonderful dream. I dreamt of her - ain't that a perfect start for my first day as an official supervisor?

There are a lot of things going on these past months. I must admit that some are things that I wouldn't really wanna face but there are also a lot of things that came in my way and really made a diference.

October 2005 - I've finally had the guts to seek for the closure of a relationship I've kept for about 4 years with someone i thought would really be the last I'd be with. It was such a wonderful experience to love and be loved by her but I guess it's really not meant to be.

November 2005 - For more than 5 years of not seeing and not talking; one day for no reason at all Karen came into my mind and I thought of asking my niece,monnette who happens to be the bestfriend of Karen's sister, Julie to get Karen's number fo me. At the end of that same month I finally thought of a reason to ask her to see me - I asked her help to do some accounting books (which she didn't buy). Gosh! To my surprise...the girl I once was hiding and running from have grew to be one of the finest W - O - M - A - N I know.

December 2005 - We have been talking and going out a lot. I guess it's fate! I was so happy to find her back in my life even though I really felt the hesitancy in her. I can understand why she feels like that towards me. Nevertheless, things went on to be wonderful having her back. However, while things are going perfect for my love life I am having some problems that I know would in one way or the other affect me a lot. My bro got into a trouble that caused a domino effect - my financial and emotional state was in rumble with my heart.

January 2006 - This would be a very memorable month and year (Especially the 3rd) I formally let it all out. I found ways to tell her and make her feel how I really feel about her. And in return, she have also (like she always do)welcomed me in her heart. Nothing really formal is going on but I won't ask for more. Having her this way is far alot better than anything else in this world. However, on this same month I had received a very troubling news THE PET PANTRY Philippines have closed. Assets were turned over to Bambi Corporation. I haven't let the whole family know about this so I'd probably be facing more of this in the future.

February 2006 - The effect of the January news is very much felt now... but I know i'll get over it. I really am surprised myself because I 've never been this positive. I know myself - I am so pessimistic! But for some reason I know I'd get over this. Mid this month, I also received a call that I thought would be our end but thank God Karen was tough enough to give me strength to hang on. With the strength she showed, I know I can't just let go of such a wonderful woman.

March 2006 - Finances still low but getting over with things still. God has been so nice to be that When I get to see the dead end He turns the light on to the right path and W - A - L - A! Here I am again back on my feet. This month, we're having a couple of frequent arguements that turns to petty misunderstandings. Small things that gives way for us to know each other better. No second thoughts whatsoever, it'ss till her that I wanna be with.

April 2006 - This month is still young so can't speak much about it that much but I can say that the start is wonderful because I still have the most important woman in my life (aside from my mom and DIXIE..he he), KAREN.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Stress Level

33-48: Strain
You're probably feeling overwhelmed or drained, and may be
having some difficulties actually doing your work. Many people,
once they reach this level of stress, fall into denial, feel
helpless and begin to blame themselves. Try to stop believing
self-criticisms like, "I'm stuck here and I can't do anything
about it" or "If I did a better job, was smarter or more
competent, I wouldn't be so stressed." Do small things to take
control of your work life. Say "no" to a project you don't have
time for, or ask to do something that's more interesting to you.
Leave work on time every day for a week, or leave the office for
lunch for a whole hour. If you can't do those things, at least
take a brisk walk or turn off your phone for a while. Chart of stress symptoms:
Work-related stress has a way of creeping into our lives,
sometimes without our even realizing it. Some of the symptoms
are minor, while others are more serious and even hazardous to
your health.
You may be stressed out if you...

Have a hard time making decisions
Have trouble meeting important deadlines
Experience feelings of fatigue or sleepiness, even with enough
Have low self-esteem
Feel that there just aren't enough hours in the day to get the
job done
Tend to criticize and be argumentative
Experience moodiness or depression
Are forgetful
Get the constant feeling that something is wrong or missing
Have a change in appetite so that you eat more or less than
Find yourself smoking, drinking or using drugs to cope with your
Experience rapid or irregular heartbeats or heart pounding
Experience rapid breathing or hyperventilation
Get muscle aches, headaches or migraines
Have high blood pressure
Break out in skin rashes

Ten easy ways to address stress...

Take deep breaths.
Take a walk, escape from your environment
Say no to what you don't have time for or what isn't interesting
Leave work early (or at least on time)
Relax your demands on yourself a bit ‚ most of us expect to much
Let yourself ask questions and communicate with co-workers
Do unpleasant tasks in the morning to get them over with.
Simplify things whenever possible. Look at large, overwhelming
projects as a series of steps you complete one at a time.
Let yourself laugh, especially when you feel grumpiest.
Live in the present--don't spend time worrying about how much
better things were in the past or what might happen in the
future. Most people who are able to manage stress have perfected
the art of living in the now.
Information for the Stress-o-meter was provided by Teri Winfield
Hicks, an Advanced Nurse Practitioner specializing in
biofeedback and stress counseling at Northwest Stress Management
in Seattle.

Take the test and know for yourself:

Friday, March 31, 2006

Total Shock

Yesterday (March 30, 2006/Thursday) around 9:46am I got a text from one of my workmate telling me that I have finally been declared as one of the four selected supervisor. It was mixed emotions that I felt then. Part of me was excited but part of me was passive. I've waited for it for such a long time. I've long wanted to prove my worth all this time.

Then I thought, why in the first place did I applied? I remember back December when I was really having a dilemma if I should apply. I finally decided at the last minute to go ahead and try. I know I did it for her. I wanted to give her more reasons to be proud of me, I wanted to at least get near to the hierarchy of responsibility that she is now.

She did not asked for it but I just felt I'd feel better and confident if I can make it. And,now that I am here...I'll make sure I'll do good prove my worth to her, to them and to myself.

Thursday, March 30, 2006


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from AlabamaHeather Whitestone
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Popular Pop SingerMariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"(During an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.)
Model, movie and TV actressBrooke Shields
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
University of Kentucky Basketball ForwardWinston Bennett
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
Washington DC MayorMarion Barry
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." (Commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.)
First Lady andDemocratic Senator from New YorkHillary Clinton
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Greenville, South CarolinaDepartment of Social Services
Feeling smarter yet?

Short Note for Ye Princess

Just wanting to say Wassup!

There are a lot of things that have happened the past days and each of them I say made us understand each other better. There's nothing much more fulfilling than starting everyday with the beautiful thought of you. I'd love to spend much time with you as I could, make each passing time seem as if it's the last. I may have been a big dumb ass these past days but I know that those were just the moment that I am wishing to spend more time with you.

I love you much... see yah later!

Monday, March 27, 2006

DON'T'll never know

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want a smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit--
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don't you give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.glitter graphics

Source:CCTLL Sandbox Lotus

Stampede shows how desperately poor Pinoys are

As I See It : Stampede shows how desperately poor Pinoys are First
11:34pm (Mla time)
Feb 05, 2006 By Neal H. Cruz
Inquirer Editor's Note: Published on page A14 of the February 6, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

THE STAMPEDE AT ULTRA, WHERE AT LEAST 74 people died and about 400 others were injured should be an eye-opener for our government officials, especially the President. It is an indication of the extent of poverty in our country. The poor people who flocked to Ultra went there hoping to win a small part of the P1.6 million in cash-not to mention the house and lot, and the car-reportedly set aside to be raffled off during the anniversary show of "Wowowee," ABS-CBN's noontime program.

To the poverty-stricken, such tempting prizes are worth dying for. To many of them, the program is the only way to get hold of some money that, perhaps, could finally set them free from the clutches of poverty.

The horde of poor people started arriving at Ultra, packing its grounds, on Monday. Some of them came from faraway provinces and had money only for one-way fare. They thought they could pay their way back home with what they would win in the raffle. That was how confident, or hopeful, theywere.

Many of our officials only pay lip service to poverty eradication. They don't really do something meaningful to achieve that. Others don't believe that poverty is that serious. Now they should know better.

President Macapagal-Arroyo has made a show of visiting the victims in the hospitals and expressing her condolences. She has ordered an investigation and there would surely be some scapegoats afterwards. But those are not enough. She has to do something drastic to ease poverty so that people don't have to die in search of some relief. After all, as some critics say, poverty got this bad during her administration. If we can be honest about it, the blame falls on the policymakers and economic planners in Malacañang who have let the people go this desperately poor.

If the desperately poor people of the Philippines were not so appallingly numerous, not that many would have flocked to Ultra hoping to win some money. And they wouldn't have stampeded in the race to get in and get tickets for the raffle. And nobody would have died.
Perhaps, the mass deaths should shock the administration into doing something meaningful. Distributing free noodles to the poor while cameras click away, delivering speeches, shaking hands and promising billions of pesos for food handouts to try to regain some popularity, are not what we mean by "something meaningful."

The people need jobs, not handouts. They prefer to work for their food. So give them jobs, not handouts, and they would be more grateful. Handouts fill hungry stomachs temporarily, but they strip people of their self-respect. Handouts introduce people to a culture of mendicancy. In time, people would get so used to them, they would rather beg than work for a living.

But alas, this administration knows only one policy: bribery. It is spending many billions of pesos to bribe the military, the police, government employees, local government officials, congressmen, the poor-anybody who can help the President stay in Malacañang where she shouldn't be. None or very little is set aside to generate jobs.

Whom to blame? the people, media, or the president?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Well Wishes


I have been worried knowing that you are sick...People have been saying you lost weight. Please take care of yourself..

Living in Fear by Joseph Ghabi

As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part of our life, and our own personal growth. Our growth starts basically from our relationships. Remember when we were young looking up to our parents, or to our older brothers or sisters, sometimes envying them for being older, or just trying to understand them. But the best of all was trying to build up our relationship with them.

From that point on our own personal growth began. This initial growth, helped to direct us towards different directions in life, according to the way we did handle those early growth experiences.

I have spoken before about how our ego and pride plays part in our relationships. This time, we will look at another area that can really hit us hard when we are in a relationship, and that is fear and selflessness.

What is fear? Fear can be defined in many different ways, but we will look at fear in a relationship as our concern today.

Fear, is defined by two different aspects of our relationships. As I see it today, it is the fear of commitment and the fear of the other person in a relationship. Fear of commitment in a relationship can happen to the best of us when we have had one, or several, tough relationships or tough times growing up in this lifetime. That can help to keep that fear alive. Why do we keep carrying around that fear? Very simple - many times we don’t know any better, and other times we are just afraid to be vulnerable, or to allow ourselves to open up. That fear can only bring unhappiness in the end.

Fear of the other person in the relationship is just as tough as that first fear but we need, and it is very important, to be honest with ourselves and to ask the question “Why are we afraid of our partner?” Why have we allowed ourselves to be stuck in that relationship for so long? What is it that created this fear in us? Why have we allowed it to go that far in the first place? Asking that, and many other good questions that need to be addressed until we click in with the answer. Do not disqualify any answer because that is what most of us do in the first place. Our intuition seems to be the last thing we trust. Just learn to trust that inner voice of yours. Fear can only be resolved by building up our own self-confidence. Your partner, in this case, probably knows that you fear him or her and may take advantage of this!

From my angle, I see again that fear lies in the way that we grew up and what we really need to look at is our own level of self-confidence. Sometimes we have been abused as a child and our self-esteem is tarnished. I wrote on these subjects before, but what we need to tackle now is on how we have chosen to build up our self-confidence and self-esteem. This is a very important start.

To be able to accomplish this you need to go back to whatever age you were when that problem started to occur. Look at it as if you were seeing yourself, and your life, as a movie in front of you. Write down everything you see, and start to listen to the way you talk today. Is there a common pattern? You should see something reoccurring over time and even in how you experience your relationships today. You will probably see that those patterns are still there, as if it were the first time it happened some ten, fifteen or twenty years ago. It is great if you can identify these patterns in your life that keep repeating, in a progressive way, time after time, or from one relationship to another. Then you will know from where you will need to begin, and fix what you have identified as needing fixing. Many times we say “but I can’t see it yet”. After time has passed, read all of the writing that you did earlier as a child growing up. Reading it later may help you to see the patterns, I guarantee that! BUT, there is one thing that you might or might not see throughout the years, and that is the negative attitude you may have about yourself, and your life, and that has to change too. If you master your attitude, then you are almost guaranteed that over eighty percent of your problem is solved. Think about it for a moment please…

I learned from my own healing and working with my guides, and healing doctors, that there is no cure until it is handled at the root of the problem. Not just by the symptoms of today’s problems, or else nothing (or a very little amount) will change. New problems will surface later on because the understanding of the early stage of the problem hasn’t been identified and this may prevent us from being provided with the answer to a happier existence. It really does not matter why things happened in the first place, as long as we learn to accept our unfortunate situation. Forgive, bless it, and let it go. It won’t take a lifetime for things to change in your life from that point on. That’s from my own personal experiences.
Sometimes, this process is very hard and painful to go through. Your old life experiences, and your energy level, might go to the bottom, but not as long as you know why you are doing it in the first place. It’s not a long process but two important factors are required YOU being involved in the first place. It is your life after all, and your own personal responsibility. Without those two ingredients we will keep running in a circle.

As you see when you properly handle the first stage of the problem, all of the symptoms or hurdles will fall and disappear instantly without even realizing it, because it is no longer important to your mind, heart and soul. It has been solved!

After all, the worse thing any Soul has to endure is living in fear, all of their life, especially while next to their partner, and the people who they love.

Enjoy your relationships with the people you love, and cherish it for all that it’s worth, because life is worth living and it should be in harmony.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http// All rights reserved.

Mentally Twisted

I'm beginning to ask myself who are really mentally twisted: homos who claim they are born like that or homophobic people who claim they were born normal but has acquired such psychological defect through social conditioning? Really, what is 'normal'? It is even abnormal to use this word when talking about homosexuality.

I think another problem with people with homophobia is that we're having a hard time admitting it to theirselves. That deep inside us, we wouldn't mind seeing gays and lesbians in the streets as long as we wouldn't be nudged by or brush shoulders with one of them. We could tolerate having a 'bading' to prepare our faces or fix our hair for parties or as their couturier for special events, but as long as the bading doesn't assert his/her 'own' sexuality on us too much. Or as long as we do not feel like we're being sexually harassed, even by an honest, friendly touch from a 'bakla'.

Just thought of sharing this...

THE RIGHT ONE - Unknown Author

Somebody once told me that : "Finding the right person is very hard and very wrong... it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there... you'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define a "right person" for you... and don't rush things coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you." Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it.

Try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want in a relationship. You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made. If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. You'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life. It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings.

Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention. Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself. We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood, its just that we're too much dependent to them. We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just insecurity.

But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it can also make you the most miserable person in the whole galaxy.

Waiting for you Back Home

Just came home about 10mins ago (it's 11:04am already), have been awake 48hrs (without any help from any power drink...just problems in your mind BAAaam you'll be awake). I guess this is one of the crossroads we'll be having together. There are a lot of things that have been happening lately that I must admit have affected our relationship. It's often times making it difficult for us both to face other issues we are having.
I wanna get through this with her. I have been praying to God all this time to give the one who would really make me feel good about myself, someone who will make me happy. And now that He finally did even with a bonus He gave HER to me. I had no clue that all this time it'll be her. I've let pass a handful of chances with her but still here she is standing by me. Having her is such a blessing especially with my gloomy situation now she is the light that guides me through to stay on track.
Having her now is answered prayers for me. Sometimes I'm thinking, don't I really know how to treat her right? I love her, I know I do but with too much love that I have for her I seem to be too afraid of things. I am willing to let loose because I don't want to be the person who would hurt her this way.
All I ever want is to make her happy, treat her right but I seem to be a little stupid on these things. I have not heard anything from her the whole morning, I guess I really did upset her with our last conversation over the phone last night. I felt I have to put down the phone coz' it's not working we aren't willing to listen anymore. I just thought to give it time for now.
If the little angel is around, please whisper to her ears now at this very moment that I'm missing her and that no matter what it is I love her. Help her find her way back HOME.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Powerful Three Word Phrases

There are many things that you can do to strengthen your relationships.Often the most effective thing you can do involves saying just three words. When spoken sincerely, these statements often have the power to develop newfriendships, deepen old ones and even bring healing to relationships that have soured. The following three-word phrases can be tools to help develop every relationship.

1. Let me help.Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt theydo what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

2. I understand you. People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many little ways - that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this can apply to any relationship.

3. I respect you. Respect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that anotherperson is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become closer friends. Thisapplies to all interpersonal relationships.

4. I miss you. Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmationtells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider howimportant you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

5. Maybe you're right. This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument. The implication when you say "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe I'mwrong". Let's face it. When you have an argument with someone, all younormally do is solidify the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriouslydamaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" canopen the door to explore the subject more. You may then have the opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to theother person.

6. Please forgive me. Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people wouldadmit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up thathe has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he iswiser today than he was yesterday.

7. I thank you. Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy thecompanionship of good, close friends are those who don't take dailycourtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

8. Count on me. A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essentialingredient for true friendship. It is the emotional glue that bondspeople. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady andtrue friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "youcan count on me."

9. I'll be there. If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take asick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there."Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionallyand spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

10. Go for it. We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform toyour ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how far out they seem to you. God has given everyone dreams, dreams that areunique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to followtheir dreams. Tell them to "go for it."

B o n u s : 11. I love youPerhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someonethat you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words: "I love you." Love is a choice. You can love even when the feeling is gone.

Special thanks to CCTLL Lotus

My own

"Everyone has to make their own decisions. I still believe in that. You just have to be able to accept the consequences without complaining." ---Grace Jones

We were created by God in the likeness of Him. Thus,we were created to be logical creatures. This what makes us distinct and above the members of animal kingdom. We are capable of feeling things with p=our hearts and balancing things with our minds. Therefore, I say it'll be such an insult for Him if we won't be practiving this gift given to each one of us.

It is alright to listen to the minds of other people especially those we believe we can trust but the decision shoudl still be coming from us. Life is full of choices and in effect, making way for chances to come our way.

Having the liberty and the gift to contemplate and come up to your own decision would on the other hand entail certain degree responsibility that you should be able to handle. taking the pride to choose and decide in whatever endeavour you will take in life should prepare you for some greater challenges in the future. These tests and consequences after all are the very reason why we "THINK".

You may at times realize in the end that you took the wrong turn in your journey to success but this shouldn't stop you. Reactions of other "THINKERS" may really not agree with yours all the time but everything is a test, it's up to you then to weigh which is far better than losing the chance to taste of happiness.

Being happy solely depends on how you take things up to yourself. I define happiness as ... that sense of warmth that begins at the core of the soul, spreads to the heart, and radiates outward from the eyes and lips of those who know it. The gift of happiness is elusive, but tangible. You cannot seek to find that which makes you happy for happiness comes from within and by your own choice.

Take a step and seek your happiness!

Stop Comparing


We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare. Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies. Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners, and so buy bleaching stuff. Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours, and so purchase tanning lotions.

Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots. Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.

When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world. I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis. Take a look at wealth. When we drive our old Toyota, it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats. But the moment we see our own officemate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Rav4, we automatically feel like third class children of God. Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Toyota (notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased, and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.

Listen carefully. Bill Gates' total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $50,000 per episode!

My point? No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are. And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends/girlfriends, and have more problems. Try it for once. Stop looking around.

Don't compare! Don't compare her nose with your nose. Don't compare his wife with your wife. Don't compare his salary with your salary. Don't compare her breast size with your breast size. Don't compare her kid's report card with your kid's report card. Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group. Don't compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits. Stop comparing and start living and you'll be happier with your life.

This is crucial: The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem). And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself.

Be happy. Live! There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over. Love who you are!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Depression, Melancholy, Dilemma...

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better
James A. Garfield

If life is about any one thing, it is about change. Each of us faces a number of challenges every day of our lives. The manner in which we accept these challenges dictates the direction our lives head. If we fail to make the right choices or worse yet, refuse to make any choices whatsoever, our lives can never be as rich and rewarding as they should be. Winners choose to make their lives better by facing the challenges presented head on and then making the needed changes that move them in a positive direction.Change takes courage.

Change takes commitment. Change takes you deciding once and for all that you're going to live your life with all of the fun, excitement and joy you can muster. All of us have faced crossroads in our lives where we have had to make a choice, take a chance and then make something happen. It's these make or break moments that define our lives. It's one thing to talk a good game, it's quite another to pull it off.
The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles. - Bernard M. Baruch

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My 3 Wonderful Reasons

glitter graphics

You need not ask why... There are a lot of things I have to thank you for. Let me Give you 3 wonderful reasons why I should thank you:

1. Thank you for making my world such a wonderful place to live in. Just by being by my side everything turns alright. There are indeed troubles that come my way but thoughts of you simply makes me feel better.

2. Thank you for loving me. I have never felt so loved and so special. Your attention is all I really need to feel better.

3. Most of all, thank you for teaching me how to love unselfishly. I may really not be the perfect lover("not even a guy") but I can definitely say that I am sure how to treat you right.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

At the End of the Day

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This one's for you baby... Thanks for being such an angel to me. You have your ways to make simple things come to me in such a special way. You are very much appreciated.

Cater 2 U
By Destiny's Child

Cater 2 U
By Destiny's Child

[Byonce Verse 1:]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You,
My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want Just
Let Me Cater 2 U
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man,
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want,
I Want To Cater 2 U

[Kelly Verse 2:]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress
Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something
You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
Another Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind,
Body, And Spirit

I Promise Ya (Promise Ya)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Sh*t (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed,
Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits

When You Come Home Late
Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You,
I'm Here To Serve You
(I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want Just
Let Me Cater 2 U
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man,
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want,
I Want To Cater 2 U

[Michelle Bridge:]
I Want To Give You My Breath,
My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater 2 U
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And The Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love
Shines Through (Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater 2 Mah Man

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want Just
Let Me Cater 2 U
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man,
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers,
Your Dinner,
Your Dessert,
And So Much More
Anything You Want,
I Want To Cater 2 U

glitter graphics glitter graphics

Sunday, March 12, 2006

You can be or Do Anything!

I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :Click here to make Falling Objects I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :I L o V e Y o U :

Believe that you can, and you will. People are people. Some may be there to pull you up and some are there to pull you down, it's just up to you with whom you will cling to. I
In life, you may have to let go of some good things you hate to lose and give up but at the end of the day everything should all be fine. Just believe in yourself that you can do it and you definitely will.
Trials may come your way every so often but never take them as reasons to stop ypu. it is but normal that these things may really slow you down in your journey but never should you allow such instances STOP you.
I may not be the perfect and most needed person in the world to help you but I am here to be your friend who'll always stay right beside you. When times get tough and realize that you made the wrong turm I will be there to hold your hand and tell you that it's okay to commit mistakes what's not okay is for you to give up.
be strong, baby! Together we can do it, I know!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

POOH to Ponder

Here is one FACT that she have actually asked me so I opted to check on facts so I can give her accurate answer..

What gender is Winnie-the-Pooh?

According to the Winnie-the-Pooh FAQ, "...every character in Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner are boys except Kanga. There are references to other female characters, namely some of Rabbit's friends and relations, but none of them have any speaking parts."

Interestingly enough, the original bear that inspired the fictional character was female. During World War I, a Canadian lieutenant named Harry Colebourne was on his way to Europe when he bought a female black bear cub whose mother had been killed by a hunter. He named her Winnipeg (Winnie for short), after his hometown.

The cub accompanied the unit to Britain and became the brigade's mascot. When Colebourne was sent to France, he gave Winnie to the London Zoo. It was here that Christopher Robin Milne, son of author A.A. Milne, met and fell in love with the bear. He visited her often at the zoo and renamed his teddy bear (a male originally named Edward Bear) Winnie-the-Pooh. (The "Pooh" part was the name of a real swan). Inspired by his son's beloved stuffed animals, A.A. Milne wrote Winnie-the-Pooh, which was published in 1926. Walt Disney later bought the rights to the book and made several animated short films.

The first chapter of the book clearly establishes Pooh's gender. Milne wrote:
When I first heard his name, I said, just as you are going to say

, "But I thought he was a boy?"
"So did I," said Christopher Robin.
"Then you can't call him Winnie?"
"I don't." "But you said---" "He's Winnie-ther-Pooh.
Don't you know what 'ther' means?"
"Ah, yes, now I do," I said quickly; and I hope you do too,
because it is all the explanation you are going to get.

And that is all the explanation we have to give.

I would also want to correct myself...WINNIE THE POOH IS A BOY after all..Sorry for the mixed up baby!


Monday, March 06, 2006

Letter III

For You

Life has never been really easy for me. While everybody gets things as easy I would have to take it the hard way. Some people say it's a blessing, some say it's doom but I say it's LIFE.

I am going through tough times, difficult stage in life if I may say but for some reason I know everything would be fine. All I really think of now is her. When I find myself being over ruled by troubles and worries I stop and think how happy I am when I am with her and things would be better. It's some sort of running away from things but I say it's one way of transforming myself to be a better person.
She have touched my life in such a wonderful way that I can't think of any other way to love her. She's one girl I won't let down. I may commit some mistakes along the way but I will never commit the same mistake again, of letting her go. I won't lose her. I am here to stay and each day would pass that all I would do is give her reasons to stay with me.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


Definitions of Soulmates

Classic Meaning of Soulmates
The concepts of soulmates arose from Greek mythology. According to the story, our ancestors once had 2 heads, 4 arms. They did something to offend a god so that god punished them by splitting them down the middle, resulting in the creation of humans. As a punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half, our soulmates.

Spiritual Soulmate Concepts
Many religions and spiritual paths believe in reincarnation and the concept of karma. Through reincarnation, soulmates may spend many lifetimes together in past lives. Other spiritual methods of searching for one's soulmate are astrology, numerology, palm reading, personality types, and magic. Modern spritual paths often blend western and eastern philosophies.

Companion Soulmates
These are people that we encounter through their life. These are usually friends, teachers, mentors, or other people who have helped you achieving a life's goal or helped you out of a crisis.

Twin Soulmates
These types of soulmate are your closest friends or a person whom you really click with. According to those who believe in reincarnation, you have already met them in a past life, and in this life you are continuing the relationship. There is an emotional bond between these soulmates and each is able to sense the feelings of each other..

Twin Flame Soulmates
This is the most popular type of soulmate. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain.

Love Economics Definition of Soulmates
Love Economics is our theory of love and dating. It is based on probabilities calculations, population statistics, and empirical research findings from Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, and Psychiatry. Love Economics explains social interactions in economic terms, benefits and costs. Based on this theory, the person who gives you the highest benefit per cost ratio on this Earth is your soulmate. The benefit to cost ratio is called your soulmate ratio. Mathematically, the ratio is written as:

Soulmate Ratio = Total Love Benefit / Total Love Cost

Your soulmate is the person who will maximize your soulmate ratio and vice versa. If another person exists that has the ability to give you a higher soulmate ratio than the person you are with, then the person you are with is not your soulmate. No one in this world, including being by yourself, could make you happier than being in love with your soulmate. True love is the love you share with your soulmate.

Some people believe that a potential soulmate may be living halfway around the world. Based on the Love Economic Theory, the odds are against this happening due to cultural differences unless you just moved from there. Also, geographical distance will increase search, research, and maintenance costs. Unless one of you decides to take the risk to move to the other person's location, he/she is not your soulmate.

The longer you are in love with your soulmate, the higher the soulmate ratio becomes. Better communication skills will emerge and you both will share more experiences resulting in more similarities. It is only after you finished the research phase and had been in love for many years can you determine if the person you are with is indeed your soulmate.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Accepting my Lesbian Identity

The problem now is that after all this time I am still having problems with acceptance. I have told only my 2 best friends (who have been in a committed lesbian relationship for over 15 years but only came out to me 4 years ago). And now my relationship with my partner is in jeopardy. Part of me believes that I will never be able to accept this because I know that there are some things that I will never be able to have with her... -an open letter from a confused woman by the name of HELEN who wrote to Therese

I don't know what you should do, what with not being you and everything, but I know some things about me. None of this is intended to imply that I understand what you're going through. I only understand what I've gone through.

It is absolutely true that if today continued forever you would never accept being a lesbian (or pick any identifying word). Coming out is a part of acceptance, not a result of it. If you keep waiting for the lightning bolt from heaven that makes everything OK, you will probably be waiting forever.

Right now you're dealing with two things: you and you&her. I think maybe approaching it from the point of view of the latter is trouble. You will not learn to love yourself if your reason is to make someone else happy. Maybe you should start by learning to love yourself because it will make you happy beyond your dreams.

Everything in life is a little bit broken. We live with that brokenness daily. What we all do to make everything feel better is seek beauty in the brokenness. Love, romantic and respectful, is a tiny solution to the big problem.

The issue at hand is not lesbianism or sex or attraction. The issue is love. Lesbianism is not about sex or attraction; lesbianism is about loving women. You don't have to be a lesbian; you only have to be in love -- with yourself first, and then with her.

When I say that anything you can have with a man, you can have with a woman, I mean that. Holding hands and kissing in public? Think about what's stopping you from doing that exactly. How much of it is really fear about what other people will do to you and how much of it is shame about who you are and fear of what other people will think? I live in the big city these days, but I have lived and loved and held hands in public in West Texas, so don't think it can't be done. The first time is the hardest.

Straight women cannot all have children with their men. Many many of them turn to things much ickier than a turkey baster to get pregnant. There is no longer any "natural" way to get pregnant any more than there is a "natural" way to have sex. If you choose to not have children, consider that a valuable choice made, not something forced on you by a "lifestyle."
But I suspect that you've been told in a million different ways why coming out and being a lesbian or a bisexual woman or yourself or whatever isn't worse than being straight. That never really seems to help at all, though.

I can tell you why it's better. This is not a curse. It's not even a black cloud with a silver lining. This love, this life, this "lifestyle" is a blessing.

Coming out is the most excruciating, exciting thing I've ever done. It's with me now, even though I haven't come out in a while. I no longer come out. Now I am out. I haven't started a conversation with, "I have something to tell you..." in years. But when I was doing that, when I was consumed by the desire to share who I was and what an amazing, beautiful thing I'd discovered and simultaneously consumed by the desire to hide under my bed until Don't Ask Don't Tell was rescinded, I was flying.

There is nothing like lying to yourself and to everyone else for years and years and years and then stopping. It's like being unshackled. Everyone was not fine with it; heck, I don't remember being all fine myself, but at least I was free. Walking into a room of lesbians for the first time was like the first time I'd ever taken a deep breath.

Because I am a dyke, I have met an array of the most amazing, diverse, intelligent, twisted, damaged, and human people on the planet. Because I am gay, I have seen and heard and become things I never would have seen, heard, or become without my orientation. I have learned more about real love for my lovers and for my friends by taking the time to tell them the truth and by simply being gay. I am alive now because gay people take care of each other, and some have taken unbelievable care of me.

Honestly, before I came out, I had no faith in humanity, and now I am constantly amazed by the lengths we go to love each other across brokenness. Lesbianism is by far the best thing ever to happen to me, and a lot of great things have happened to me.

When I was coming out, someone said this same thing to me, and I thought she was nuts. I thought, "it's just a gender!" in my politically correct sort of way. And in a politically correct sort of way, I was right. If you let it, sex will be just sex, and a woman will be just a woman, and your life will intersect with a million different actions and people, and you can wave on your way past. If you let it, this could just be about gender, and gender could be unimportant.

And if you let it, this could be the most amazing, joyful, painful experience and part of your being. None of us have ever become anything. We are all of us in the process of becoming, and the secret is to never believe that we are done growing up.

You do not have to be anything at all. But a part of the deal when you sign out the life you have is that you will be exactly and completely what you are right now. Exactly and completely afraid, exactly and completely excited, exactly and completely confused. Part of the deal is that you will get all the way inside your life and be everything, understand everything that it is. That is the gift.


Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Character vs. Reputation

Be MorE ConcerneD AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputatioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!

True enough! It is a given fact that we humans are very conscious and concerned about what others say. I see this like a ‘monster’ that eats our spirit. Why? Often than not we would find ourselves reacting the way people would want us to. Sad, because this hinders us from being happy, from being free. Understandably, freedom comes with great responsibility but how would you learn if you won’t take the risk, right?

It’s human a tendency I guess, that if they cannot find faults in the doings of the other they would then try t hurt the character by messing up with the person’s reputation. Indeed, in this we would see that we really can’t separate character from reputation however these two things should not be confused from the other. Character is your personal point of view of yourself while reputation is how people see you. This is the very reason why that we have to know ourselves better, ought to love ourselves coz’ if not we may probably follow the dictates of others without considering to what direction we really wanna go.

We ought to be more inclined in building and improving our character as that is US. Be more careful on how you perceive yourself; make sure you aren’t blinded of each situation and each relationship we get involve in. Self – Check every now and then really helps.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Another Letter

16 years ago we both walked on our own paths and did not hear much from each other. We have tried to live our lives to the fullest even without each other. You had such an impact on my being that nothing in my life has measured up or amounted to anything.Now, once again, you are back in my life and it is the most wonderful thing imaginable.

My every thought is of you and each time that I am able to speak with you draws me closer and closer to you. I must tell you that I have held you in my heart all these years and nothing has ever made me forget the love that we in one way or the other shared. I do not know what the future holds for us but I am thankful to God that He has brought you back into my life for the second chance.At any given time when you command it I will be there for you. Nothing else in this world matters as long as we can live the rest of our days together.

Love always,

Individual Rights In Relationships

Many times we lose sight of what is happening between our partner and ourselves. Slowly the balance can shift and we have gone from being loved to being abused. One day you find yourself wondering if your expectations are too high, too low or off base entirely. Here is a list designed to assist you in answering the question of what is right and what is wrong.


  • To share equally with your partner all decisions and responsibilities related to your relationship, children, home and finances.
  • To have time to yourself.
  • To privacy.
  • To share equally with your mate in all financial decisions and to spend some money as you please.
  • To grow and explore your potential without feeling guilty, selfish, or afraid and be allowed to do creative, challenging, absorbing, worthwhile work.
  • To have friendships with both women and men outside of your relationship as long as you do not violate the privacy of your relationship with your partner and to choose who these friends will be.
  • To express your opinions and have them given the same respect and consideration as those of your mate.
  • To have and express your sexual needs and desires without feeling like you are selfish, demanding or aggressive and to decide whether or not to have sex.
  • To have your emotional, physical and intellectual needs be as important as the needs of your mate.
  • To expect your mate to give at least 50% effort to resolve difficulties in your relationship.
    To hold your mate responsible for her behavior rather than assuming that responsibility yourself.
  • To seek professional help with your relationship.
  • To NEVER be physically attacked or psychologically degraded by your mate and to terminate the relationship if either occurs.
  • To be free from fear.
  • To expect significant behavioral changes rather than apologies and promises from your partner if a single battering incident occurs.
  • To not blame yourself if the relationship in which you have invested so much love ends.

So next time you are wondering if you are expecting too much, your partner is not offering enough or a combination thereof, take a look at this list. If nothing else, I would hope it will help you determine what action you need to take in order to achieve happiness in your life.

Until next time,


5 Secrets to Staying In Love

5 Secrets to Staying In Love

Just about everyone wants to know how they can make their relationship better. They want to know how they can deepen the commitment and love between each partner. Unfortunately relationships are not something you can provide a "to do" sheet for and all will be solved, but with these five key secrets you can certainly improve your chances for getting all you desire out of your relationship.

Do things unexpectedly.One key secret to a successful relationship is compromise. Meeting halfway on things shows your partner that you really do care about their viewpoint and you are willing to work on making each other happy. Every so often make it a point to do something that you normally would not agree to or feel like doing. When you keep your partner constantly surprised by your actions, you regenerate that "new love" feeling time and time again. So, when your partner asks if you want to try that new restaurant…say yes! If they ask if you want to try a new hobby…say yes!

Show your loyalty.Nothing strengthens a relationship quite like watching your partner go to bat for you, especially against close friends or family members. It shows that you consider your relationship a team. If you harass one member of a team, you harass them all. When you side with other people against your partner you make them feel alienated and the seeds of hidden resentment become planted. You can show loyalty positively as well by bragging about your partner's recent accomplishments to friends and family.

Be supportive.Challenges and opportunities are always going to occur. You can't stop them from happening. Hopefully for both of you the changes in your lives are positive ones. The secret key here is having a supporting and understanding mate in your corner to help you through your ups and downs. If you lose your job, it's quite a bit easier to bounce back when you have someone who's willing to support your choices and any new directions you might want to branch out to. If you want a career or lifestyle change, imagine the difference having someone who will carefully consider and support those changes? When your partner is presenting you with a challenge or an opportunity, treat them the way you'd want to be treated.

Maintain a healthy dose of individuality.Personal time and space are essential to growing individually. Everyone one needs private time to do the things they want to do. It helps refocus attention to the priorities. Sometimes you or your partner may just need time to release emotions from a bad day, instead of bringing it home with them. Learning to respect and notice when your partner needs some individual time shows that you are committed to not only your relationship, but their long-term happiness as well.

Love your partner.Love is obviously a crucial element in a successful long-term relationship. But having love isn't enough. You need to be in love. The phrase "love is a verb, not a noun" certainly applies here. Don't hesitate to write that quick love note, give that deep kiss, sit next to each other at a restaurant or hold hands in public. The little things go a long way towards establishing a deep, intimate connection with your partner. As simple as it sounds, this action is probably the most commonly overlooked and ignored.
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